I'm not sure at what age the fascination with poop ends (as a baby) and when it starts again (octogenarian?). Most people have the decency to keep their poop habits and descriptions to themselves but not MY old lady! Endless stories of the frequency, color, size, and pains associated with her bowel movements......made even worse when she is in the hospital! My husband (her son) didn't even change his own babies dirty diapers.....he certainly is not a fan of hearing his mother blather on and on about it! First she will complain about being constipated and do all that she can, short of a stick of dynamite, to make sure she has her daily poop. Then we are treated to the story, "First it was loose, then 2 solid pieces this size came out and then loose again. I was really full!!" It doesn't matter that she hasn't been eating well or active enough, a daily BM is mandated!
Today we were trying to get her discharged from the hospital and that was THE topic of conversation. When it was determined that we needed to get her portable oxygen tank, I grabbed the keys and was out the door before hubby could even think about it! Once we got her home and he needed to pick up her prescriptions I could almost picture the two of us fighting to make that trip, jamming ourselves into the doorway, squeezing to be the first one out....... I lost.... and got to witness the first homecoming BM with full color play-by-play.
I promise my kids I'll be better!!
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Oooooh, I am so happy to be the first comment in over a year. This story couldn't be more appropriate for me this morning. I too had to almost resort to dynamite. Honestly, it was actually stuck halfway out and I was debating whether or not to help it along with my finger. I didn't. Eventually, through straining, jumping up and down, and finally with one grand push it popped out. The whole time I couldn't help thinking about Elvis Presley, and the circumstances of his death.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.