memories of old ladies...

Just so you know, when I told the hubby all about the brouhaha in the food store he laughed his head off! I am so thankful that we are on the same page about her "eccentricities", it would be awful if he was a Mamma's boy! She has not liked me since we met....I'm too fat, too loud, and I don't kiss her ass. She made it clear when she handed over the photo album she'd made for Rick, "No pictures are to be added or removed from this album." she intoned. I saw why when I noticed that the last pictures in the album were of Rick and his high school girlfriend at prom (tiara and all). I have never been jealous, or very interested in his previous girlfriends, and this one looked like a spinster librarian! I have always felt that he was very lucky to have met and married me, I am the total opposite of his mother. Also where he is more reserved, I am outgoing. We are both ordinary people with quirks, flaws, and strengths. While he has never told me I am pretty, he is accepting of my physical flaws....unlike his grandmother! We were dating and apparently he felt the need to be totally honest with me so he told me what she had said when he said we were engaged, "You don't have to settle for her, she has deformities." (I have a birthmark which is well covered, and a prosthetic eye) That old battle-ax ended up out on her ass when his parents moved to another state, she had to move in with her equally old sister, way out in the country. We visited her with our baby boy and we were there for her when she had a stroke and died 8 weeks later. (Wow, I really AM a bitch!!!) And she never did like me or appreciate that I am a good person. And here I am now with HER daughter-in-law....who swears she will never move in with us as she suffered that horror with HER M-I-L! Well, she needn't worry...she'll never be in my house ever again. I'll have to tell the story of her visit here soon after we moved her back to Illinois....another nightmare based on her negative imagination!

Okay, here I go, my first attempt at blogging. And what has inspired me??? Well, I spent time today with my M-I-L (those in the know will understand the acronym!) and she so pissed me off that I was yelling at her in the grocery store! This isn't the first time that she has said stupid, mean things to me but never, EVER rip on my kids....even if they are adults! Everything seemed okay as we searched the liquor aisle for Baileys for her..."I cry myself to sleep every night." she says. Stupid me says "Why?" "Because no one will talk to my Ricky." "What? Who are you talking about?" "The kids, they don't say a word to him and they don't answer him when he talks to them. They just sit there (here she makes a tight-lipped face)." I said,"I don't know what you are talking about!" Turns out it is when we stopped by at Christmas, she is in some delusional place that always makes MY kids-her only grandkids- out to be monsters! My daughter had insisted on us stopping by as she had found PEARL vodka for her and was sure she'd be impressed.....NOT! So now she makes a BIG deal about how these adult kids didn't "help him, or give him a hug, or kiss him." I said why would they?? We were spending the entire day together, none of us were saying good-bye, and if he wanted someone to give him a hand (he has a painful hip) he would have asked! She has no idea of the person that her own son is....he's reserved, private, self-reliant, independent....certainly not one to engage in PDA's!! And we who live with him and love him understand that! She also made a big deal about how sad and unhappy he looks (like it's my fault, horrible wife that I am!) and I said of course he's unhappy, he's in pain everyday with his bad hip. Besides that, he never was a jolly, outgoing, smiley guy.... and I think it comes from having HER as a mother!
This is a woman who is old now but as my husband says, she's always been like this.....and then he adds why do you let it bother you?!! Well, it bothers me because she spews out her bizarre fantasy perceptions at me. When I asked her if she had talked to Rick about what she was thinking she said "Oh no!" Of course not, she prefers her pretend scenarios to the truth. I tried telling her that our kids and Rick have a very loving relationship, and they spend plenty of time talking to each other. She just gave me that look of hers that says she doesn't believe a word I said. Now you have to know that this is a woman who was married to a man whose voice I rarely heard. He hardly spoke to anyone and spent his home time in the basement, watching TV in a lawn chair. She spent her evenings after dinner up in their bedroom doing her beauty treatments (hours and hours). They were a very poor example of a loving married couple and the Dad certainly never voluntarily talked with his only child!
I did finally give up trying to correct her impression but I let her know that she is wrong, always has been wrong, and never will get it. I could hardly wait to get the hell out of that store! And I knew she'd be wanting to go for lunch but that wasn't going to happen. Many times I've felt bad for her since she lives alone and I usually was the one to take her out but I just can't stand conversing with her. Doing things for her is a chore and certainly there is no fun in it. I wish that I could enjoy talking with her and hearing about her youth, etc. but what I know is that much of what she DOES tell me is no where near the truth. I take everything she says with a grain of salt and can only hope that when she complains about us to others, they will do the same!